You Owe Me: A Christian Perspective on Generosity and Entitlement
Have you noticed how it seems like everyone expects something from you these days? It feels like we've slipped into a world where people no longer do good without expecting something in return. The old adage, "You scratch my back, and I'll scratch yours," seems to have morphed into a transactional way of life. We give, but only if we expect something back. What happened to the joy of giving freely, expecting nothing in return?
Take tipping, for example. It used to be a choice—a small token of gratitude for great service. But now? Tips feel more like a requirement, starting at 10% or higher, regardless of the service you receive. It’s no longer an act of appreciation but an automatic surcharge. And it’s not just in restaurants anymore—this expectation has extended to drive-thru windows, service industries, and nearly everywhere you go. The sense of obligation weighs on us before we even step out the door.
This mentality has become so pervasive that many of us look up menus online before heading out to eat, calculating not only the cost of the meal but also the expected gratuity. It feels less like an opportunity to bless someone and more like just another line item on the receipt. The heart behind giving seems to have been replaced by a culture that whispers, "You owe me."
Whether it’s tipping or expecting favors in return, we’ve found ourselves in a society where generosity has become transactional. And frankly, it feels “icky.” There’s something off when giving feels more like paying off a debt than an act of love. But what does God say about this?
THE HEART OF GIVING ACCORDING TO SCRIPTURE
In a world where entitlement seems to reign, God’s Word calls us to a different standard. In Luke 6:35, Jesus teaches us, "But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because He is kind to the ungrateful and wicked." This verse is counter-cultural in every way. Instead of doing good with an expectation of return, we are called to give freely, just as God gives freely to us.
God’s economy is not built on transactions but on grace. He pours out His love, mercy, and blessings on us not because we deserve them but because He is generous. Romans 5:8 reminds us, "But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Christ didn’t wait for us to earn His sacrifice. He didn’t ask for anything in return when He laid down His life on the cross. His gift was free, unmerited, and given out of pure love.
FREELY YOU HAVE RECEIVED, FREELY GIVE
As Christians, we are called to follow this same pattern of radical generosity. Matthew 10:8 echoes this: "Freely you have received; freely give." When we understand how freely we have received from God—grace upon grace, without deserving it—our hearts are transformed to give without strings attached. We don’t give because we have to. We don’t give because we expect something back. We give because God has been so generous to us.
This doesn’t mean we stop tipping or honoring those who serve us in practical ways. But it does mean that our attitude should shift. Instead of giving out of obligation or because we feel "forced," we can give out of gratitude for the kindness God has shown us. The next time you’re faced with the decision to tip or give, let it be a reflection of God’s generous heart, not a burden of societal expectation.
BREAKING FREE FROM THE “YOU OWE ME” MINDSET
The world’s mentality says, “You owe me.” God’s mentality says, “I owe you nothing, but I give you everything.” How freeing is that! God calls us to rise above the "you owe me" mindset, to live generously, and to trust that He will provide for our needs. When we give without expecting anything in return, we mirror God’s grace to a world desperately in need of it.
It’s easy to feel weighed down by the constant demands and expectations placed on us by society. But Jesus offers a better way. He invites us to rest in His grace and give as He gives—freely, without strings attached. Let’s reject the mindset that we are owed something and embrace the joy that comes from giving selflessly, trusting that God sees and rewards what we do in secret.
So, the next time you’re faced with the nagging feeling of “you owe me,” remember: we owe God everything, yet He gives to us freely. And because of that, we can give freely, too.
